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Getting Free: You Can End Abuse and Take Back Your Life (New Leaf), by Ginny NiCarthy
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Since its original publication in 1982, Getting Free has changed the lives of tens of thousands of women. Written in an accessible style, packed with practical information and answers, special exercises designed to help a woman recognize abuse, and several success stories, Getting Free remains an important resource today—and this updated edition makes it an all the more relevant resource.
In this expanded edition, Ginny NiCarthy features important new information from the latest studies and most recent research on the subject. New chapters include an analysis of whether batterers’ treatment really works, which programs help violent men change, and which do not; the results of research on the ways that many men who batter also abuse their children, and specific reactions of children to battering; the cultural and legal issues relevant to immigrant women; and a presentation of how religious beliefs and religious communities affect the real and perceived choices of women facing violence.
- Sales Rank: #553143 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-03-05
- Released on: 2013-03-05
- Format: Kindle eBook
Amazon.com Review
Although Getting Free was written in 1982, it is still called the bible of all domestic violence texts. It's not just the content of the book--twenty-four chapters covering a gamut of issues--but the tone. The problems of and solutions to domestic violence are clearly defined through the voices of women as they share their experiences and carve out their steps toward freedom.
Each chapter discusses a different phase in the experience of "getting free" and the problems surrounding each phase. Readers can reach for this book to look up specific domestic abuse issues or they can read it straight through. There is much to learn here--the history of battering as a phenomenon; the political and social aspects of abuse; the historical changes to the institutions of marriage and family, and more.
Chapter 4, "What Do You Owe Yourself?," helps women work toward a healthy autonomy and defines what each partner in a relationship deserves. Discussion on the unconscious expectations of marriage and romance segues into practical advice on the economics of single life. When reaching for Getting Free in crisis, readers might begin with Chapter 6, "Making the Decision," or Chapter 14, which argues for and against moving to a shelter. There is wise and compassionate counsel for the loneliness that can ensue from fleeing an abusive relationship.
At the time that Getting Free was first published, the more common feeling about domestic abuse was that women brought it on themselves. This landmark book changed that perception, not only bringing a pandemic social problem to light, but also offering a lifeline to thousands of women. It continues to do so.
From Library Journal
Nicarthy's commonsense manuals show battered women the danger they face and help them map a way out, step by careful step. An essential purchase. You Can Be Free is useful for readers with low reading skills and those pressed for time.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
"Highly recommended." —Library Journal
"Getting Free is a pioneering work which continues to be a valuable tool for battered women. Hundreds of women in our support groups have found it to be a source of hope and of practical assistance. Ginny NiCarthy has our thanks and appreciation." —Lois Loontjens, Executive Director, New Beginnings Shelter
Most helpful customer reviews
22 of 22 people found the following review helpful.
An absolute must-read for abused women
By loud@adan.kingston.net
I have worked in the field of counselling women both living in and attempting to leave abusive relationships and this book I have recommended over and over again. It covers everything a woman needs to know in order to make the decision to leave and gives her step-by-step direction and support throughout the process. An added bonus is that it is written in a language that someone with little education can understand. The exercises within this book are absolute gems which I use often in my practice, especially the one on emotional abuse. Many of the women I work with minimize this aspect of their abuse and it certainly is an eye-opener for these women. I hope it never becomes an "out of print" book. I would also recommend "Family Violence and the Chemical Connection" by Sally E. Baker. Unfortunately this is "out of print" but if you can find a copy it is invaluable. Others I often recommend are "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans, "The Emotionally Abused Woman" by Beverley Engel, "Outgrowing The Pain" by Eliana Gil and finally "Toxic Parents" by Dr. Susan Forward.
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
Best book "ever" for abused women
By A Customer
I wish this book was around back when I needed something exactly like this (in 1976-84). It covers "all" related topics: How to decide to leave (making the decision). Protecting yourself & the children, How to get help, the financial aspects of leaving "him", how to find a shelter (or a safe home), how to cope with loneliness, new love in the future, avoiding the same kind of man again.
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
It saved my life. Thats not an overstatement.
By lhanna@neo.lrun.com
The line that haunted me for years is: If there is 1% chance you will be killed, that is too great of a chance. I only wish that Nicole Simpson had read/or acted on the advice in this book. (My opinion, obviously). The book helped me spot abusers on the first date, rather than 2 dangerous months later.... And best of all it gives strategys for departure. Another memorable line: "Its easier for men to be cured of leprosy and than abusing women, EVEN WHEN THEY WANT TO BE CURED!" I have recommended this to dozens of friends and clients. If you don't think you need it, read the first chapter standing in a book store. As I discovered, when doing so "I'm living with a Monster!" (Denial reigns supreme until one's consciousness is raised. Remember, no matter how badly you were/are beaten: YOU DIDN'T DESERVE IT. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT! Call a shelter and get out of there. Now!
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